I’ve been alive for just shy of thirty years. When I think back to isolated memories — from childhood, how I prepped with a glass of water before singing a too-high solo in Fiddler on the Roof, standing in a tunnel on the day I graduated from Brandeis, my wedding day, our first apartment in LA, our first condo in LA, the births of our daughters — everything seems like ages ago.
But at the same time, the old folks weren’t lying. Time goes pretty damn fast.
The biggest change I’d like to make in my life is eating more vegetables and fewer desserts. But the second-biggest change I’d love to make is finding it easier and less stressful to make decisions about what the hell I want to do with my free time.
I’d love to blog regularly. I’d love to build a variety of websites. I’d love to write a few longer things I’ve been kicking around. I’d love to continue work on my “custom self-written/recorded ringtone for everyone in my iPhone” project that I’ve been meaning to tell you about. At night, there are shows and movies I want to watch, Wii (and board) games I want to play, books I want to read… It’s a nightly Sophie’s Choice. I think. I’ve not yet decided to take a night to watch the movie. Or read the book. Is it available for the Kindle?
On the plus side, there’s some stuff I’m doing well. I’m writing tons for Macworld, nearly finished with the book, loving my family, and doing what I think is pretty solid work at the day job to boot.
The only thing I’m lacking for is more free time to do with as I choose. I guess that when my kids are all grown — now, we’re talking 20ish years from today — I might find a little more free time since I won’t have any wee ones to care for. But I doubt that kind of change alone is enough to shift one’s perspective from “there’s so much to do and I can’t pick which to focus on right now.” I think that kind of change has to come from within.
I don’t know how exactly to refocus that within myself, and I suspect that some of it is just who I am and I’ll never be able to change it. But I’m sure that I can do better than I’m doing.